Sweet Summer Child

I do not think of myself as much of a talented writer. I guess one side effect of mostly talking with yourself is that you forgo the need to use the English language. Unfortunately, this also has the knock on effect of your thoughts and ideas being in a nebulous space where you struggle to find the words to convey them properly.

This is one of the reasons I was hesitant to write this; the other reason being that I am not entirely sure what I want this to be. Therefor the likely outcome is that this turns into a ramble with no clear structure. That being said, I think it’s appropriate.

A Boy

Imagine a boy in his late teens. He has excelled for as long as he can remember with little effort. He does not come from a very distinguished background at all. He sees what opulence looks like courtesy of his classmates. The boy has cultivated a fierce desire for money. He has internalised that money, and money only, will make him happy. Perhaps it is even true.

The more astute of you out there may have realised that the aforementioned “boy” is me. I am also writing this for me. I hope, in time, reminiscing about these years will be a pleasant activity. Not one filled with regret.

My journey has been one filled with blessing from the simulation. Somehow, whether it is luck or the guiding hand of angels, I have escaped ruin and prospered. I am eternally grateful for the start I have had and those who help me. Repayment for the guidance I have received is a foolish task. I can only hope to keep going on as to not disgrace anyone who believes in me.

I am not a rich person. My life has changed. Both these things can be true. Being surrounded by generational wealth, a few hundred thousand seems insignificant, yet to the people I grew up with it is an almost unattainable goal.

I entered this cycle late. I was cognisant of this so my only goal was to build up something so that when the next one comes; I will be ready. I did not know when I put everything I had into Coinbase that I would end up here in such a short space of time. I find solace in this. It keeps me sane when I am comparing myself to indescribable wealth.

What I am trying to say is I am trying very hard to not fly too close to the sun while trying to reach it simultaneously.

Doubt

People are quick to dismiss me because I am younger than them. I am also quite new. Both these things have lead me to have major imposter syndrome, perhaps this is an incorrect diagnosis since it assumes my thoughts are unfounded, but I digress. In short, I do not feel like I am enough.

As previously mentioned I have excelled academically, tested in the 99th percentile nationally, but a small fish in a smaller pond is still a small fish. In crypto, I am exposed to unadulterated genius, and it makes me wonder. I am not someone who has ever been praised much, and I am not looking for praise or sympathy. I just do not compare to the people I look up to; and that is okay.

I have started to expand my horizons outside of the academic syllabus that I was forced to learn. I’ve found great enjoyment in learning about how Intelligence Officers be the best they can, something very applicable to crypto. In relation this this I am learning more about how my brain works. I hope to get better at analysis and forecasting. I hope when I am reading this in the future I have achieved those things, as well as being amazing at making money. I simply want to be great.

I apologise for this not being a great piece of writing, for an outside reader it may be difficult to follow and make the needed inferences. However, it is enough for the task that I need it to do. This doesn’t have everything that I think, just the main points. If you have taken the time to read this, thank you. If there is no follow up in a few years time then I am sorry, I didn’t make it.